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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25791397">The Only Remedy for Forgetting</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepsicola/pseuds/pepsicola'>pepsicola</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Guilty [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Smut, i don't know why i do, i hate writing it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:07:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25791397</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepsicola/pseuds/pepsicola</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Butters isn’t a cheater. His father is, and Butters is nothing like his father. And after everything that happened with Kenny, Butters feels guilty. For not telling Eric he'd gone out. For thinking about what it might be like to kiss Kenny. For doing something his father would do. All he wants to do is forget.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eric Cartman/Butters Stotch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Guilty [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842319</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Only Remedy for Forgetting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Waiting only ten minutes dragged on to feel like ten hours. Butters curled up on his side of the bed facing the door. He was focused on the handle, waiting for it to turn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His throat was scratchy. His eyes burned but remained dry. If he cried, Eric would be more concerned with that than Butters’ need for him. He didn’t want that to happen. He didn’t want to cry, or tear up, or have bloodshot eyes by the time Eric came home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would just have to pretend that everything was fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That he’d simply missed Eric while he’d been at work all day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters wasn’t a cheater. His father was. Butters was nothing like his father. He wasn’t a cheater.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laid motionless. Over and over, he repeated the scenario in his mind: Eric entering his room, gathering him up against him to slowly kiss him. And most importantly, Butters would turn to jelly in Eric’s arms and forget the day that preceded Eric coming back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters stood and floated like a mindless ghost to his closet. He opened the door, his hand drifting to the sleeve of a red hoodie. He ran his fingers over the cotton material before taking off his T-shirt and dropping it to the floor. As he did, in the mirror beside his closet, he caught the flash of a black cord, a shark’s tooth hanging from it below the dip in his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The necklace was a symbol of his and Kenny’s friendship. He only ever took it off before bed or showering; during the weekend and summer. Any time he went out he would put it on again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached around his neck and unfastened the clasp at the back. The necklace dropped into his palm. He kept the tooth hidden in his fist so he wouldn’t have to look at it as he went to his dresser. Not looking at it would keep away all the memories connected to it. It would make this easier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He placed it inside the drawer at the very back between a folded stack of shirts. He closed it. That necklace would stay in there until it was forgotten.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing in front of his closet again, he pulled the hoodie off the hanger and over his head. He didn’t care that it was summer and his room was stuffy. He needed something of Eric’s on and around him in the meantime.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolled up the sleeves as he wandered back to his bed. He fell to the same fetal position he had been in before he got up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt so guilty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Eric had been at work all day, Butters had gone out with Kenny to eat and watch a movie without telling Eric about it. There had been moments when Butters looked at Kenny and his stomach flipped over itself. There was accidental touching when their fingers brushed and their shoes bumped. Butters stood outside the bathroom door as Kenny sang in the shower. Worst of all, when he and Kenny had been watching the movie, Butters imagined himself kissing him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny had kissed—and promptly forgotten about kissing—Butters at a party Bebe hosted before the end of junior year.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters never told Eric about that. He wouldn’t tell Eric about what happened today either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was nothing he hated more than lying to Eric. He was an expert at seeing through Butters’ bullshit, so he never had a reason to lie. But Butters didn’t lie then after that party—not really—he was only avoiding a conversation. And wasn’t lying now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was scared to confess all the bad things he had done. Mostly because he didn’t know how Eric would react. He wanted to keep Eric forever and ever, and he didn’t want to lose him because he’d taken what they had for granted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t a cheater. He and Kenny didn’t do anything. They just hung out. He wasn’t a cheater.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Really, Butters told himself, all of this guilt he felt was Kenny’s fault. If Kenny hadn’t kissed him as a drunken mistake in the first place, this wouldn’t be a problem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Butters didn’t believe that. Today, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>was the one to make the choice of leaving with Kenny to go eat at that restaurant and watch that movie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny didn’t force him or pull a surprise on him the way he did with that kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he had, though, that would have made Butters’ situation a lot simpler. Unfortunately, he was the one at fault. This whole mess was his doing. There was nobody else he could push the blame on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t a cheater.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first, Butters thought he was imagining the turning of the door handle. But then the door opened to reveal Eric standing there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters sat up so abruptly that a rush filled his head. Like a child, he stretched his arms out towards Eric, craving his embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile formed on Eric’s mouth upon seeing him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kicked the door closed as he walked over to the bed. When he was close enough, his arms extended in return, and Butters eagerly fell into them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric made contact with their lips, having Butters lean back because he leaned forward. Butters’ jaw fell open, inviting in Eric’s tongue. He took the invitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters let out a happy squeak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric had Butters pinned to the bed now. The movement of his kiss drew out a breathy moan from Butters. His hands roamed up Eric’s back to his hair where he curled his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric shifted Butters’ body vertically on the bed. He sat up. His eyebrows quirked and he grinned. “Why are you wearing my hoodie?” he questioned. He tugged on the strings. “It’s summer and it’s hot in here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters caressed Eric’s side. He refused to break their eye contact. There was a glinting light behind the color of Eric’s eyes, and it was tantalizing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said I missed you desperately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric grinned wider and took off his shirt. Then he reached down to remove Butters of the hoodie. “And you were all ready for me, huh? Not even wearing a shirt underneath.” He kissed his bare chest, his throat, his shoulders. His hands fleetingly roamed every inch of exposed skin. His knee pressed into Butters’ inner thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters whimpered. “C-c’mon, Eric,” he begged, “quit playin’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric smirked. He kissed Butters hard. His mouth dragged to Butters’ ear to whisper, “You don’t make demands. I do.” His hand that had once been resting on Butters’ stomach trailed it up to his neck. His thumb caressed Butters’ jaw while his other fingers squeezed softly. Butters’ eyes started to droop at the feeling, but Eric ordered, “Look at me.” Butters’ eyes snapped to his. “You make requests. Little, begging requests that you moan out. And I consider it. Understand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters nodded, swallowing back the anticipation that was making him tremble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric sat up, rising to his knees. His hand left Butters’ throat. Without it, Butters felt wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He whined. It was getting hotter and hotter in his room, he was upset and desperate, and Eric was above him, his hard cock still in his pants pointing right at Butters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I—I told you, Eric. I miss you,” Butters mewled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had little concern for his dignity when he was with Eric. He knew he was acting sad and pathetic, but he wanted it that way because it was easier to believe he really was sad and pathetic. He was only something until Eric pushed his final, missing piece into Butters so he could be made whole again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric shot Butters a warning look that only made him want him more. He liked Eric’s sharp looks and harsh demands. He liked Eric bad, and he wanted Eric to be bad on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No more talking from you, B-Butts,” he said. “Take your shorts off and come sit up against my chest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eagerly, Butters lost his shorts and shuffled up until his back was snugly pressed up against Eric’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he was close enough, Eric’s lips moved against Butters’ ear as he whispered, “We’re gonna start things the old way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters fawned against him. “The Old Way,” he echoed even though he was commanded to not talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Old Way always made Butters swoon. The Old Way was Butters’ back to Eric’s chest as Eric reached around to beat Butters off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hm. The Old Way.” Eric bit his earlobe. Then he pulled down Butters’ jaw and stuck two fingers into his hot mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters was used to parts of Eric being in his mouth. His first instinct was to slowly move his tongue along in a rhythmic pattern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he felt the vibrations of Eric’s chuckling, he knew he was doing good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, look at you,” he cooed. “I don’t even have to tell you what to do.” He rubbed his finger against the flat of Butters’ tongue, eliciting a high-pitched moan from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a while, Eric rubbed Butters’ stomach as Butters’ sucked his fingers. That lasted only a short innocent moment, though, before Eric wrapped his hand around Butters’ cock. Butters wanted to gasp at Eric’s grip, but it stuck in his throat behind Eric’s fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters whimpered as Eric began his even strokes. Eric’s hand was bigger and heavier and stronger than his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head rolled onto Eric’s shoulder. Eric’s fingers were still in his mouth, and Butters was absentmindedly sucking along to the beat of Eric’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters could feel he was close to cumming. He didn’t mean to bite down a little on Eric’s fingers when he caught his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric grunted and stopped moving his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters’ mind was slow to process what was going on. His eyes opened as Eric took his fingers from Butters’ mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He began to ask, “Why’d you stop—?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric grabbed his chin and slammed their lips together. He took him by the shoulders and pressed him into the mattress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters could only think, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh,</span>
  </em>
  <span> as Eric lifted Butters’ right leg up to his hip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric commanded gruffly, “Keep your leg right there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters kept his leg right up against Eric’s hip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lower half was heated and ready to let go, but if Eric didn’t intend for him to cum from the handjob, he wouldn’t allow himself to ruin the fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of him was uncomfortably hot. There was a fine layer of sweat coating his skin. It was like there was a fire inside him and he was burning. He could only be cooled by Eric’s touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric reached for the waist of his shorts. Butters was watching him, and when Eric’s hand went there, his left leg spread further apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric smirked down at him, pulling off his shorts and boxers. “Every time you see my hand go to my dick, you spread your legs,” he drawled. He leaned over Butters, his mouth right next to his ear. “Little slut, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hmm,” he affirmed. Anything for Eric to finally </span>
  <em>
    <span>go there.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric chuckled lowly. His hand returned to Butters’ thigh. Butters bit his lip, waiting. Eric kissed his mouth. He brushed his fingers over Butters’ cheek before he grabbed the headboard of Butters’ bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed in slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters gasped. It was torture when Eric went in like that, all slow and hot. Butters liked it fast and rough. He put his hands on Eric’s back and dug his fingernails into his skin to relay his message.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric ignored the touch and its secret message. He had other plans. He moved into Butters at an even pace, grunting between his teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters peeked up through his eyelashes at Eric. His hair was plastered to his sweaty forehead. It was curling just a little bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric caught him looking. He smirked and snapped his hips particularly hard into Butters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters yelped. “Eric!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters lifted his hips to meet Eric’s. He wrapped his legs around his waist, trying to push himself further onto him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric refused to give in, even when his grip on the headboard loosened and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. “Holy fuck, Butters,” he moaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters moaned back, loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His parents would be home from work soon—if they weren’t back already. Not that Eric cared about that. Butters figured he didn’t care if his parents were home either. All he wanted was to feel Eric—really </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>him—and if that meant announcing to his parents he was getting his guilt fucked away, he was fine with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters panted, whining, “H-harder. Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric huffed hot air in his face. “Yeah?” He ran his thumb over Butters’ lower lip. “Anything else you want me to do?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters knew he meant it rhetorically, but words spilled out of his mouth before he could register that. “I want you to p-punish me like I been bad. Choke me a little too. Make—make me your bitch, Eric, please. Be real rough. Stop with this gentle nonsense. Don’t let me go either. Hold me like—like I’ll disappear if you don’t. M-most of all, tell me you love me. Always. Please, Eric, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he begged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric stopped moving. His jaw was hanging open. His cock twitched inside Butters. “B-Butts—” he choked out. He looked scared and excited all at once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As a response, Butters reached up and raked his fingers through Eric’s hair. He bit his lip and arched his back to show him what he could be having if he would just start </span>
  <em>
    <span>moving again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When he didn’t, Butters’ eyes started stinging the way they had been before Eric showed up. He didn’t want Eric to stop. He wanted to keep going until he forgot about all of today. All he wanted to remember was the afterglow of Eric fucking his pain away. It was the only remedy to forgetting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took in a big breath and blurted, “I need you to do this for me, Eric. I love you. There’s nothin’ I love more than you. I want you to feel that from me. I know I sound crazy and desperate, and I am, but—but, please. Keep goin’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric’s hand slid around Butters’ neck. Butters dropped his shoulders as he relaxed. Eric finally blinked himself back to reality. “Okay. I’ll do that. Yeah.” He tightened his grip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could hold tighter and not let go until Butters passed out. He could squeeze and loosen and squeeze and loosen so Butters was hanging onto life with each breath. Eric had Butters’ life in his hands. Butters liked it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric swooped in towards him, kissing him twice before saying, “My God, Butters, I can’t believe you’re not a fantasy. That I’m not still at work dreaming about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters kissed him back. “I’ll help show you this isn’t a dream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric met his eyes. Butters put on his brave face, staring right into his mismatched irises.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the matter?” Butters asked. Eric still wasn’t moving. Butters shifted, feeling Eric inside him graze against his sweet spot. His hands were on Eric’s shoulders, and he dug in his nails as he squeaked. He kept squirming, trying to feel that again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Around his neck, Eric’s grip loosened. “Are you sure you want this? I don’t wanna hurt you or anything—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters froze. He stared at Eric. “I’m fine,” he said, his voice steely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Really, he wasn’t fine. He was emotionally distraught and searching for an outlet he could use to expel his guilt, and his only escape was through rough, ruthless sex that would end in Eric holding Butters so tightly it would be hard to breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric bit Butters’ bottom lip. “Ease me back in,” he said as he squeezed Butters’ throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters’ heart jumped. He bucked his hips towards Eric’s. He heard Eric’s breathing go erratic. He returned the movements.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you go, B...” he grunted under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words were lost, but Butters could hardly understand much of what he was hearing anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With each press of Butters’ hips, Eric got faster. He went hard and rough and merciless on Butters. And Butters was screaming Eric’s name. Like a broken record in his mind and his mouth was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Eric, Eric, Eric </span>
  </em>
  <span>on repeat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was euphoric. Lightheaded and drugged with love and lust. He was Completely and Utterly Eric’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric peeled Butters’ sweaty back from the bedsheets and kept him in his lap. Butters bounced, one hand in Eric’s hair, the other on the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric kissed his neck. Bit and licked and sucked. He was chanting in a whisper, “I love you, Butters. I love you. Always. Forever. I love you.” He was clutching Butters like he really would vanish once this was over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric always could last longer than Butters. They were probably ten minutes in, and Butters didn’t know if he already came two or three times. The evidence was right between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric moved Butters from riding to Butters under him again. This time, their heads were at the foot of the bed, the pillows at their feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters made love to Eric like he had something to prove. And to him, he did have something to prove: that he loved Eric, that he wasn’t a cheater.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After some time, he changed their positions again. Butters sat on Eric, his back pressed up against the wall. His legs were fastened around Eric’s waist, his hands on Eric’s shoulders. Eric had one hand on Butters’ left hip, and his tongue was shoved far in Butters’ mouth. They refused to let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters could feel Eric’s thrusts all the way in his stomach. His spine jolted each time he was slammed into the wall. His throat was burning from Eric’s hand still there and still gripping. The pain had never felt better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters stayed tight between Eric’s arms and against his chest until Eric finally came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters didn’t disappear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric stayed inside Butters. As he moved him between the bed and his body, Butters caught a glance at the time. An hour had passed. His parents had to be home by now. Knowing didn’t bother him at all like he thought it would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric squeezed the air from Butters’ lungs when he laid all his weight on top of him. He kissed him. All Butters could taste was their hot tongues as he ran his fingertips down Eric’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both were still trying to catch their breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were dried tears on Butters’ splotchy red cheeks. He had imprints of Eric’s fingernails on his hips. His lips were swollen from the kissing. His stomach hurt. His ass was aching as Eric went soft inside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time that day, Butters felt carefree and weightless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric pulled out and rolled off. Naked, he got out of bed and left the room. He quickly returned with a damp, warm towel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wiped Butters down first. He was gentle. He started at Butters’ forehead, mopping up the sweat. He did Butters’ neck next, then his stomach, then his limp and messy cock, and finally his ass, which was undoubtedly in a worse state than his cock, considering how sore he was. But Eric was careful as he cleaned him off down there. Butters was grateful and in love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric scrunched up the towel and used the fresh side to clean himself off. When he was done, he threw the wadded up towel into Butters’ hamper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters cupped Eric’s face as he crawled back into bed. Eric kissed his lips gingerly. He situated himself behind him so they could spoon. Once he was there and comfortable, his lips repeatedly kissed Butters’ neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric found the back of Butters’ left hand and brought it to his mouth. With his eyes closed, he somehow knew right where to plant his kiss: on Butters’ ring finger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters was staring at his shut door, waiting for it to open with one of his parents standing behind it. It never happened. The whole house was quiet like it, too, was recovering from being fucked hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eric?” whispered Butters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With all the strength and energy he had left, he turned over to face him. He avoided putting weight on his ass. Because he had turned, Eric now had Butters’ palm pressed against his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His fingers inched up Butters’ hand to bend his fingers forward. He kissed his knuckles. His eyes were still closed. His hair fell across his forehead and stuck there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters’ voice wavered. “You’re so cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt Eric’s smile spread across the backs of his fingers. “You’re pretty cool too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Using his other hand, Butters caressed Eric’s chest before scooting closer so they were pressed together. He could feel Eric dropping off to sleep as his hold on Butters’ hand slackened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters relaxed his rigid body, but that meant adding pressure to his behind. He winced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wouldn’t need to keep moving, though. Eric would take care of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After this short nap they were falling into, Eric would help Butters into the bathroom. They would take a shower together. Eric would lather Butters’ hair in shampoo and conditioner. He would carefully wash Butters’ skin with sweet-smelling soap. Once they were out of the shower, Eric would dry him off with a fluffy towel that didn’t scrape against his raw skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Eric would bring Butters back to the room. He would put him in boxers since their shower was warm and so was the summer air. He would lead him to the bed. He would fluff his pillows. Tuck him in. Kiss his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Butters began to doze, he would go downstairs and make him food. It would be eggs and toast with ice water. He would bring it upstairs so Butters wouldn’t have to walk downstairs for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After he finished eating, Eric would let him sleep well into the next day. He would remain at Butters’ side all night. In the late morning, Butters would be mostly healed by then. The only traces would be a small limp in his walk, and maybe faint hickeys in spots only he and Eric could see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For now, though, Butters was still laying at Eric’s side and admiring him. Eric’s back was to the window, but the lowering sun had him edged in a blinding scarlet glow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters hid his face in Eric’s neck. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Eric smelled like autumn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had always smelled like autumn, all year round. Butters had known he smelled like autumn since he was close enough to take in the scent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was all Butters needed. It was all he would ever need.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Already, memories of earlier in the day were rapidly leaving him. Fragments that had been haunting him were beginning to slip too, but the one that was sticking was the way he’d stupidly wondered for even a moment what it might be like with Kenny. Kenny didn’t know about Butters’ secret desires and desperation. Only Eric did, and it was only Eric who ever would. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Butters withheld things from Eric, but what Kenny didn’t know outweighed what Eric didn’t know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The events of today had tested the strength of his and Eric’s relationship. A test to see where his loyalties laid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And as he laid with Eric in the afterglow, he had never seen so clearly that it was Eric, it had always been Eric, who he was devoted to. Because he had entertained the idea of someone else, he almost ruined everything and beyond the comfort Eric’s presence brought him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters didn’t want to make that mistake in the future.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nuzzling closer into Eric so he could be flooded with his autumn-y aroma, he swore that he would never see Kenny again. Not if he could help it.</span>
</p>
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